Jan 30, 2009

Stupid snow!

I'm so sick of the snow already, it doesn't go away it just continues to blow right back over the roads. I would say I would like to live in the south, but there are far too many bugs and other critters you would have to worry about. Then you get into some parts of the south where you can't swim in the lakes and ponds because of gators, that to me sounds like torture! More torture than the snow!

Jan 29, 2009

The worm does it again

So my 4 year old says the best things! I keep him around for cheap entertainment. They say the best cure for anything is laughter, well he has me falling off my chair laughing 100 times a day.

Garage Sale:
Grandma asked mom when she was planning on having a garage sale this year? The worm looked at grandma and said "why would anyone sell a perfectly good garage?"

Our new president:
After the inauguration I asked the worm who our new president was and he told me Rocco Bama. I tried several times to explain to him that his name is Barack Obama but it didn't matter. When you have a dog named Rocco it's just too easy to say Rocco Bama instead of Barack Obama.

I then tried to explain to him that the Obama's were moving into the white house. The worm informs me that "people don't live there mommy that is an office building like where my papa works". I explained that there are offices and living spaces in that building. He looked me dead in my eye and said "mommy your lying if they lived there where would they put the noble office?" I explained that it's the Oval office and he informs me that rooms can't be shaped like that and that I'm again lying to him because he knows it's the noble office because you have to be noble to work there. (I think we need to stop messing with the boy because he always assumes we are lying to him).

Then the best part.......
My mom asked him who the president was and again he replied Rocco Bama. My step dad who is a die hard republican asked him "what happend to the last president?"

The worms response....... O it's so wonderful!!

"He's an idiot!"

When asked why he is an idiot the worm said "If he wasn't an idiot he wouldn't have lost his job".

Jan 13, 2009

How to make a new boob

So my mama dos (my best friends mom) had breast cancer last year. They took her boob off and then gave her a tummy tuck and used that skin and fat to make her a new boob. First of all the plastic surgeon... o my goodness he's gorgeous! I mean model hot!! And nice, and friendly, and makes alot of money. Hmmm the daydreams you could have about that man. Well until you realize he's gay so there really isn't any hope unless I magically spout a penis. Anyways, so they did mama dos tummy tuck and made her a new boob. When she went in she wrote on her good boob "I'm with stupid" and an arrow pointing to the breast they were suppose to operate on. She just didn't want to get them all confused and have them take off the wrong breast because she doesn't have enough fat for 2 tummy tucks. Well it made the entire operating room burst out laughing when they took her gown off. Anyways, we went 3 weeks ago to have her areola tattooed on and seriously made the tattoo guy blush. Who would have known asking to have an areola put onto your body would make someone who pierces vagina's blush. Anyways, tomorrow she goes to have her new nipple inserted. Yep, you read that correctly. They make prostetic nipples. Who would have konwn! I asked her if she could get me it's mate because they should sell them in pairs right? She smacked me upside the back of my head!

Therapy bills will soon follow

My kid says some off the wall things, but this time I felt so bad for the little guy. I wonder just how much this incident will cost him in therapy.

The worm: Mommy when I'm a daddy. . . . as he trails off saying something about not making his kids eat veggies

Me: What did you say babe

The worm: When I'm a daddy

Me: cutting him off.... babe you have to first grow up and get big, then you will need to finish college and then find a girl and get married before you can be a daddy

The worm: Mommy will you help me find a girl?

Me: Honey that is something every man has to do for himself.

The worm: Bursting into tears But mommy if I go to find a girl what if I can't find my way back home again? I would be lost.

Me: O my goodness what have I done? I just broke my poor babies little heart!

Seriously my little guy thinks that he will have to wander the city to find himself a girl in order to be a daddy and that he won't ever find his way back home to me. I want to cry with him!

Jan 12, 2009

Ummm yeah

Since when did my house get this messy? Anyone know a time or a date they can remember when they walked in and went "WTH?" If so can you please let me know when it all went to crap because I'm confused!

I just don't understand! Nothing is where it should be, every single cabinet is full of stuff that doesn't even belong there. The junk drawer has multiplied now taking up 2 drawers. The toys.. o the toys I don't even want to think about that. So today I opened up the drawer in my bedroom that I use for just random things trying to find something. Inside I find stuff that belongs in the kitchen, stuff that belongs in the bathroom, little toys that I don't even know where they came from, socks, pens, pencils, ect. Seriously each of these things should have it's own place to call home so why on earth is it piled into my drawer? I seriously had a hard time opening it.

My house is a disaster and I'm not sure there are enough hours in the day. I'm a very organized person in general, but something has snapped and little by little it has all gone down the drain. How do you organize a house that is in 100% chaos? I remember a time not all that long ago when everything in my house had it's place, it was all labeled and neatly stacked. Even my junk drawer was organized and take out menus were alphabetized!

So in short, has anyone seen my scissors? They are missing and the drawer that normally holds them is full with stuff and I won't even tell you what that stuff is because honestly I don't even know. It seems to be the drawer of broken parts. That toy that was broken.. yeah the one you threw away last year, well guess what the broken piece is in that drawer!

Jan 7, 2009


Old Baby clothes!!

Everyone has them, no one can part with them. Yes you can get rid of most of the kids old clothes, but some of them you just can't bring yourself to part with them. The outfit they were brought home in the hospital. The outfit they wore for their first pictures, the one that great aunt so and so made and he wore it all the time, ect. Well I make quilts out of my kids old baby clothes. The worm has his with the newborn outfit he wore home from the hospital in the center so you can see how tiny he was and pieces of the other fabric scattered around it. Every one of my foster kids that has left me I have made one for them also. A way to have the clothes and the memories without the boxes in the basement.

Granted I LOVE to sew I find it relaxing, but there are several places online that will make these for you. I have seen some major price differences though some are $600 others are $200 and the ones on ebay look cheap and weird but they are only $60ish. Please shop around don't pay $600 for a quilt it's really not worth it no matter how cute the end result is! If you want one made I can make one for you (depending on how many people email me). I'm running out of sewing projects as it is and sewing is relaxing for me so I kind of need new projects. You will need around 25 outfits (unless they are bigger kid outfits) to make a throw sized blanket though. My average price depending on how big it would be is around $100. Some less some more, details could be worked out later. If you do a good internet search though you might be able to find someone near you or ask your dear aunt Sally to make one and get a better deal because of shipping costs.

BTW: To my friends, I'm sorry I brought this up on my blog before asking if you wanted one made first, but my mind is mush and it's Wed. so I must post something. {{HUGS}} and please don't hate me!

Jan 5, 2009

Runny babbit: a billy sook

The worm: Hey mommy can you read me a book?
Me: Sure babe, but wouldn't you rather your uncle G read that to you?
The worm: Yeah mommy I like that idea. Hey uncle G can you read me a book?
G: Giving me a dirty look because he dislikes all children even though he tolerates the worm "sure buddy what book should we read?"
Me: Hey worm go grab your bunny book.
The worm: Yeah mommy I Love that book!

G Opens the book and starts to read, only it's runny babbit and if you don't own runny babbit your missing out on all kinds of fun! The kids love it and it's slightly more "fun" to read because you can't just mindlessly read it. Why you ask? Here is why....

Runny fad a hamily- Matter of fact, he had a sother and two bristers, a dummy and a mad. His mamma fed him marrot cilk and parrot cie and such, And all of them were happy in their cozy hunny butch.

The book
is even better when you can convince unsuspecting relatives to read it to your children so you can laugh. So find your hippy brother as I have and hand him this book to read to your munchkins. It's fun for all and especially fun for the parents of the children giggling in the next room while your busy laughing at poor person who got suckered into reading this book. BTW: This is a long book with many little stories in it. If you start reading it make sure you have to "get up to stir dinner" at some point don't give yourself too much time or your brain will spin from reading so much of this runny babbit talk!

Who needs prozak when you can sucker relatives into making you laugh!

Jan 4, 2009


Wouldn't it be nice if someone just showed you the right direction to go in life. I thought I had things figured out 5 years ago. I was with what I thought was a great guy, we were saving money to buy a house, I was going to school to do medical billing and shortly after starting I found out I was pregnant. Who could ask for more right? Then I had to drop out of school for a semester because the morning sickness was so bad, I got my degree in medical billing only to not be able to find a decent job. I finally found a job and we purchased a house. Married couple and child living in a home, the American dream right? Until my ex went nuts and stopped taking his medications, I kicked him out and realized that I can't do it on my own. I look into better billing jobs only to find out that doctors in my area have heard of this wonderful thing called outsourcing. My job and many others were shipped overseas to the lowest bidder. The best I could hope to make was $10 per hour which doesn't pay the bills. When I started school I looked at the average wage and it was double what I could make now plus I had my husband to help.

So life starts over, only this time with a mortgage, a child and an ex that is totally un-supportive in every way shape and form. He visits 1 weekend a month, well that is what he's ordered to do that doesn't always happen. He doesn't pay child support regularly at all and he constantly picks fights over stupid things. I decided to go back to school with the support of my wonderful parents. They offered to help with some expenses so I could go back to school. Now I'm finding that what I thought I wanted to do doesn't pay as much as I need, the jobs are hard to find and in order to do any good you have to have your masters which is way too much schooling for someone who can't make it now.

I really wish someone could pop down and say "you need to go to school for this job, live in x place (hopefully this person would tell me my home because I love it and have been working so hard to not loose it), and do x changes in your life". I just want to be happy.... I'm happy with my child, my friends, my family, but when it comes to other life things I'm clueless!! I need a JOB!!!! A job that can support me and my son not relying on any kind of child support. A job that I am happy doing and don't dread going to work. A job that doesn't take too much training and schooling. I'm looking at becoming a radological technician (x-ray tech) because it's half the schooling as social work with basically the same pay. I could always go back to school for social work after I get that degree and have a job that doesn't require me to lean on my parents. God love them for helping, but I feel like the biggest looser on the planet!!! Mom, dad, can I have some money to pay my electric bill? Who does that? Also, pretty please can someone just tell me if the next guy I might go out with is a looser before I waste my time!!

In short... I want to be a grown up already!!

Jan 2, 2009

Happy new year

Happy new year to everyone!! I am sorry I haven't had a chance to post in awhile. The worm is home from daycare and I'm off of school. We have been busy making a mess of the house and pretending it doesn't exist. I've got all these thoughts going through my head and I keep saying "I need to blog about that" and darn it if it doesn't fall right out of my head before I can get to a computer. Well here is yet another long post because I need to get caught up and it's easier to just post everything here. (Ok, not everything will need to post some more about interesting things that have poped into my head).

New years resolutions- clean the house! After the past year of being way to busy everything is out of place and I really need to go through every drawer, closet and cupboard and clean and put things away where they belong. I have no motivation for this project it seems like work and work is not fun. Loose weight. Yes everyone always says this, but honestly I've never really tried before so hopefully I can be that 1 person in a million who makes this their resolution and actually sticks to it. I've always been happy with my body and just accepted it. I'm the person who thinks that the fatty foods are good for you because they help your mood rather than restricting yourself and walking around hungry. Well lately I'm feeling more tired, a tad depressed, lack all energy, and generally protest things that make me have to move. Yeah it's a problem! I've never been the type to be this lazy, lazy yes but not so lazy that I don't want to do laundry because I don't feel like walking down the steps! I typically boycot laundry because I don't like to fold it, but not for phyiscal reasons. Now the plan.... to loose the 100lbs that is hanging onto my body. Ok, so perhaps not 100lbs but mightly close to it. No goal weight in mind, just want to eat healthy and work out daily even if it's just a 30 minute walk on the treadmill downstairs while watching tv.

Christmas stuff- Awesome Christmas, way too many presents. A got tons of games and such all of them super cool. The best presents of the year if you have munchkins.... any of the blueorange games! Hyperdash, it gets kids off their butts and makes them run around which is awesome. This is also a good game for adults who have had too much to drink. Add some hard wood floors and socks to these drunken people running all over and trying to beat eachothers time and it's a recipe for the funniest game ever! Nothing like a holiday spent watching your dear loved ones fall on their butts! Last word, another good adult game (not going into details, trust me and try it!)

Animal stuff- My dogs are stupid and it's funny! Gidget has found her tail, Rocco looks at her like she has lost her mind. I know he's secretly wishing he too had a tail. More important news.... the betta fish finally died!! Seriously within 2 days of eachother. They were 6 years old and I was seriously thinking I was going to have to put them in my will, well guess what they are gone! FINALLY!!! Stupid things! Betta are not meant to last that long especially if you don't ever feed them or clean their tanks!

Friend stuff- C has new foster kids, they have some major behavior stuff going on way above and beyond what I can help with. I went over to help her de-lice (I know you all love it when I talk about those critters and make your heads itch like crazy at the mear mention of them) and the oldest no joke walked outside without his coat on in the cold and sat down in the snow covered yard. WTH!! He's 8!!! I can't go into details (stupid confidentiality) but those that know C can you please send her a little care package with some booze, tylenol and duct tape! O wait scratch the duct tape the agency frowns on that just send her some good vibes. They are all "alphabet soup" with things such as FAS, RAD, PTSD, ODD, OCD, and ADHD. Yeah for more RADish kids.... STUPID BIO'S!! I want so badly to smack them sometimes! To everyone I didn't see on New Years.... you all suck and should have come over you missed the best party!! Haha j/k

Life stuff- Have some MAJOR insomina going on again, men stink, the village idiot has hit an all time low or is it high with his stupid antics, and other than that it's smooth sailing.

I should really make a resolution to actually blog things and remember to hit the publish button huh!