Runny babbit: a billy sook

The worm: Hey mommy can you read me a book?
Me: Sure babe, but wouldn't you rather your uncle G read that to you?
The worm: Yeah mommy I like that idea. Hey uncle G can you read me a book?
G: Giving me a dirty look because he dislikes all children even though he tolerates the worm "sure buddy what book should we read?"
Me: Hey worm go grab your bunny book.
The worm: Yeah mommy I Love that book!

G Opens the book and starts to read, only it's runny babbit and if you don't own runny babbit your missing out on all kinds of fun! The kids love it and it's slightly more "fun" to read because you can't just mindlessly read it. Why you ask? Here is why....

Runny fad a hamily- Matter of fact, he had a sother and two bristers, a dummy and a mad. His mamma fed him marrot cilk and parrot cie and such, And all of them were happy in their cozy hunny butch.

The book is even better when you can convince unsuspecting relatives to read it to your children so you can laugh. So find your hippy brother as I have and hand him this book to read to your munchkins. It's fun for all and especially fun for the parents of the children giggling in the next room while your busy laughing at poor person who got suckered into reading this book. BTW: This is a long book with many little stories in it. If you start reading it make sure you have to "get up to stir dinner" at some point don't give yourself too much time or your brain will spin from reading so much of this runny babbit talk!

Who needs prozak when you can sucker relatives into making you laugh!

Direction

Wouldn't it be nice if someone just showed you the right direction to go in life. I thought I had things figured out 5 years ago. I was with what I thought was a great guy, we were saving money to buy a house, I was going to school to do medical billing and shortly after starting I found out I was pregnant. Who could ask for more right? Then I had to drop out of school for a semester because the morning sickness was so bad, I got my degree in medical billing only to not be able to find a decent job. I finally found a job and we purchased a house. Married couple and child living in a home, the American dream right? Until my ex went nuts and stopped taking his medications, I kicked him out and realized that I can't do it on my own. I look into better billing jobs only to find out that doctors in my area have heard of this wonderful thing called outsourcing. My job and many others were shipped overseas to the lowest bidder. The best I could hope to make was $10 per hour which doesn't pay the bills. When I started school I looked at the average wage and it was double what I could make now plus I had my husband to help.

So life starts over, only this time with a mortgage, a child and an ex that is totally un-supportive in every way shape and form. He visits 1 weekend a month, well that is what he's ordered to do that doesn't always happen. He doesn't pay child support regularly at all and he constantly picks fights over stupid things. I decided to go back to school with the support of my wonderful parents. They offered to help with some expenses so I could go back to school. Now I'm finding that what I thought I wanted to do doesn't pay as much as I need, the jobs are hard to find and in order to do any good you have to have your masters which is way too much schooling for someone who can't make it now.

I really wish someone could pop down and say "you need to go to school for this job, live in x place (hopefully this person would tell me my home because I love it and have been working so hard to not loose it), and do x changes in your life". I just want to be happy.... I'm happy with my child, my friends, my family, but when it comes to other life things I'm clueless!! I need a JOB!!!! A job that can support me and my son not relying on any kind of child support. A job that I am happy doing and don't dread going to work. A job that doesn't take too much training and schooling. I'm looking at becoming a radological technician (x-ray tech) because it's half the schooling as social work with basically the same pay. I could always go back to school for social work after I get that degree and have a job that doesn't require me to lean on my parents. God love them for helping, but I feel like the biggest looser on the planet!!! Mom, dad, can I have some money to pay my electric bill? Who does that? Also, pretty please can someone just tell me if the next guy I might go out with is a looser before I waste my time!!

In short... I want to be a grown up already!!

Happy new year

Happy new year to everyone!! I am sorry I haven't had a chance to post in awhile. The worm is home from daycare and I'm off of school. We have been busy making a mess of the house and pretending it doesn't exist. I've got all these thoughts going through my head and I keep saying "I need to blog about that" and darn it if it doesn't fall right out of my head before I can get to a computer. Well here is yet another long post because I need to get caught up and it's easier to just post everything here. (Ok, not everything will need to post some more about interesting things that have poped into my head).

New years resolutions- clean the house! After the past year of being way to busy everything is out of place and I really need to go through every drawer, closet and cupboard and clean and put things away where they belong. I have no motivation for this project it seems like work and work is not fun. Loose weight. Yes everyone always says this, but honestly I've never really tried before so hopefully I can be that 1 person in a million who makes this their resolution and actually sticks to it. I've always been happy with my body and just accepted it. I'm the person who thinks that the fatty foods are good for you because they help your mood rather than restricting yourself and walking around hungry. Well lately I'm feeling more tired, a tad depressed, lack all energy, and generally protest things that make me have to move. Yeah it's a problem! I've never been the type to be this lazy, lazy yes but not so lazy that I don't want to do laundry because I don't feel like walking down the steps! I typically boycot laundry because I don't like to fold it, but not for phyiscal reasons. Now the plan.... to loose the 100lbs that is hanging onto my body. Ok, so perhaps not 100lbs but mightly close to it. No goal weight in mind, just want to eat healthy and work out daily even if it's just a 30 minute walk on the treadmill downstairs while watching tv.

Christmas stuff- Awesome Christmas, way too many presents. A got tons of games and such all of them super cool. The best presents of the year if you have munchkins.... any of the blueorange games! Hyperdash, it gets kids off their butts and makes them run around which is awesome. This is also a good game for adults who have had too much to drink. Add some hard wood floors and socks to these drunken people running all over and trying to beat eachothers time and it's a recipe for the funniest game ever! Nothing like a holiday spent watching your dear loved ones fall on their butts! Last word, another good adult game (not going into details, trust me and try it!)

Animal stuff- My dogs are stupid and it's funny! Gidget has found her tail, Rocco looks at her like she has lost her mind. I know he's secretly wishing he too had a tail. More important news.... the betta fish finally died!! Seriously within 2 days of eachother. They were 6 years old and I was seriously thinking I was going to have to put them in my will, well guess what they are gone! FINALLY!!! Stupid things! Betta are not meant to last that long especially if you don't ever feed them or clean their tanks!

Friend stuff- C has new foster kids, they have some major behavior stuff going on way above and beyond what I can help with. I went over to help her de-lice (I know you all love it when I talk about those critters and make your heads itch like crazy at the mear mention of them) and the oldest no joke walked outside without his coat on in the cold and sat down in the snow covered yard. WTH!! He's 8!!! I can't go into details (stupid confidentiality) but those that know C can you please send her a little care package with some booze, tylenol and duct tape! O wait scratch the duct tape the agency frowns on that just send her some good vibes. They are all "alphabet soup" with things such as FAS, RAD, PTSD, ODD, OCD, and ADHD. Yeah for more RADish kids.... STUPID BIO'S!! I want so badly to smack them sometimes! To everyone I didn't see on New Years.... you all suck and should have come over you missed the best party!! Haha j/k

Life stuff- Have some MAJOR insomina going on again, men stink, the village idiot has hit an all time low or is it high with his stupid antics, and other than that it's smooth sailing.

I should really make a resolution to actually blog things and remember to hit the publish button huh!

The Christmas rush

I've been so busy with Christmas stuff I haven't had time to do much of anything on my computer.

Last Thurs- Final exam for school. It was delayed on Wed. due to bad weather. After my exam I was going to get some last minute shopping done (stocking stuffers) and the highway system here was for the most part shut down and the store I wanted to go to was on the other side of town so I waited.

Fri- The worm and me were home all day doing some cleaning, laundry, ya know the good stuff so people don't stop by and we are naked and the house is a mess.

Sat- Helped my grandma with some stuff around her house and took the worm to his granny's house so I could get those stocking stuffers. BTW the mall by my mom's house has the most horrible toy store ever! I can't ever get out of that store without at least 4 impulse buys. Seriously all of their stuff is amazing and no matter how many times you go out there you will always find something new that your child just has to have.

Sun- Lunch with a friend, dinner with family, wrapping presents. Went to my grandparents house where they gave the worm the coolest present. It's a backpack, and when you pull the cord wings shoot out the sides of it (a 5ft wingspan) and it turns into batman wings! Very awesome!! I kinda want to steal it and not let my 4 year old have it, but I have no event where I could wear such a cool thing and not look like a total idiot so I'll let him have it, for now at least.

Mon- Finish wrapping presents, babysitting for 2 friends so they could get their shopping done. Way to procrastinate ladies!! My 4 year old, three 2 year old's and a 6 month old all cranky and sick with colds they have shared with eachother. I'm lucky to be alive!

Tues- Went to grandma's house for Christmas, got stuck there. BAD BAD Ice storm! Serioulsy the kids were outside ice skating on the roads. I went to take my nieces and cousins home around the corner from my grandma's house and while sitting still at the stop sign the wind blew my car over a good 6in. When the kids went to get out of the car they literally steped out of the car and fell right on their butts! Thank goodness my brother could come over and feed Rocco and Gidget and let them out. I was scared I would have to drive home in the mess just beacuse of the dogs. Grandma lives an hour away, so with the ice I'm guessing it would have taken a good 4 hours to get home trying to avoid the highways and back roads with 20ft ditches on either side.

Wed- Grandma's house for Christmas. This was a bad day for me! I miss my grandfather terribly and not having him there just didn't seem right! We lost him and 2 other family memebers last month (literally in 2 days time) and I guess we just haven't had a chance to truly mourn because it hit me like it had happend the day before. Someone else passing out the presents, someone else making the fudge, no one to kick my ass at Euchre. The entire day it just didn't feel like Christmas! Everyone made it through though. Our first Christmas without him. I think all in all we did fairly well although it did always feel like there was a giant elephant in the room that no one was talking about.

Thur- Christmas day! We stayed home and the worm opened presents. Well some of them anyways. He got his new stairs so he can climb into bed on his own, his robot, his leapster and basically refused to open anything else because he got what he wanted already. It wasn't until 2pm when he finally broke down and opened some more presents. Went to my cousin's house for dessert and to hang out with family. Is it bad that the worm is almost 5 years old yet everyone still kinda see's him as a baby? I mean they don't try to feed him a bottle or anything, but he walks in and everyone flocks over to see him, wants to hold him, hug him, love on him. He is the center of attention (not that he minds) and everyone sits there waiting for us to show up so they can see him. Even the teens who typically don't care about little kids came running upstairs to see him, even teen boys!!

Today- Mellow day. Was going to get some shopping done, but yet another ice storm has hit my city. I need to get a babies first christmas ornament for my cousin (she's young and apparently forgot that her kid kinda needs one of those and you really can't just get it next year ya know so I told her I would grab one for her), some new stockings (I dislike ours) and a new tree topper so I can get this stupid star fish off my tree!! Every year I say "I'm going to get a new tree topper, but I'm going to wait until after Chrsitmas because I dont' want to pay full price when they will just go on sale". Every year something happens and I can't get it. So, we use the worm's puppets instead. I did convince him to take clifford off the tree and allow the starfish with isn't as funny looking. I'll go tomorrow, or this afternoon if the weather clears up. Until then the worm and his girlfriend (my friends daughter who is a 11 months younger than him) are playing. One of these days I will write an entire post about them. They have their own launguage, they are obsessed with eachother, they right now are walking down the hall to grab something from the toy closet holding hands! A 3 and 4 year old..... strange!!

That about catches me up. Ok, so not really still have a few more posts I want to make but don't have the time now.

WFMW

~~Works for me Wednesday~~

Basically I never have anything going on Wednesdays and found THIS blog and honestly there are some great tips there so I decided that I'm game. Time to share all of those good mommy tips!

For me since it just dumped 4in of snow on us last night I'm going to let you in on the tip to keep the kids warm while outside!

Boots- You know when the snow pants pull up and the snow gets on your child's leg or into their boots even though the snowpants have those little liner things in them? Solution... tuck your child's pants into their socks and then get those plastic grocery bags your collecting for god knows what reason. Put the bag over the child's foot and then tie with those handy little handles around their legs. Now put the boots on. The bags help their feet slip into the boot better, it keeps them warm and dry and no more wet socks when they come inside.

Gloves- Put gloves on, painters tape around the gloves and attach to the child's coat. Comes off clean and keeps the snow out of the gloves.

Hats- Walmart sells those $1 stocking caps that fit everyone's head from a baby to an adult. Put one of those under your child's regular hat. The kids will get snow stuck all over their hats, the outside hat will be soaked within moments of being outside. At least they have one dry layer on their head.

Necks- Kids are notorius for getting snow down the neck hole of their coat. Clothing manufacturers have yet to realize that kids need scarfs to keep them warm the only ones I can seem to find are those that are 2ft too long for my 4 year old. Well I gave up and started using small towels. I just fold in half the short way and wrap from front to back and tada instant scarf and for some reason because it's a bit bulkier it stays put and doesn't slip down.

No solution yet as to how to get them into the house without dragging in tons of snow, nor can I figure out a way to get them ready quicker because I swear it takes 10 minutes per child to get ready and they are only outside for like 15 minutes before they want to come in. I suspect they really only want to come in to drink the hot chocolate!!

BTW: If anyone has a good hot chocolate recipe can you please share!!

Feeding the dogs cotton balls

Yes you read that correctly. You know how they always say not to let your dogs eat cooked chicken bones? Well my dogs never got that memo. We had fried chicken for dinner and threw the bones in the trash can that sits behind closet doors. Well me and the worm went downstairs to play and so I could do some laundry. When we came upstairs I noticed that the door was open and when I looked into the trash can the bones were missing!! I checked the normal doggy hiding spots, their beds, their crates, the corner of the hallway ya know the good places to stash things with no such luck. One of my dogs ate the bones or perhaps both of them I don't know.

So I can't figure out which dog ate them and I'm desperate to know which one of my dogs is going to die tonight so I bend down and tried to smell their breath. I mean surely it would smell like chicken right? Wrong just smelled like dog food. The worm gave me the strangest look ever and said "mommy what are you doing" and all I could say was "smelling the doggies breath" to which he replied "that sounds like a stupid idea" yep your right kid!

So I get online and google it and find a remedy. It says to soak cotton balls in half and half and break into pieces and feed to your dog. Ok, it's worth a shot and the logic is spot on. It says that the bones spikey pieces will get wrapped around the cotton balls so when they pass them or they are floating around in their stomach that the cotton will cover those pieces and perhaps spare their intestines. So I have no half and half but figure I would just try milk. My dogs go nutty over milk and the half and half is only there for them so they actually want to eat it and it doesn't taste like cotton. They ate their cotton balls like champs and now I get to spend the next few days searching through their dog poop for some sign of them passing the bones or that they are dying.

BTW: another site said to feed the dog a piece or two of bread to cushion the bones, well I did that too. Can never be too safe right? Also if it gets me out of spending $2000 at the vets office I'm all for it!

Perfect time for chocolate

So I was woken up by the worm at 2am telling me he was thirsty. I took him to the kitchen and got him a glass of water.

Him- "Mommy I'm hungry can you make me some of those chocolate brownies to go with my water"

Me- Super tired and not really with it "what are you talking about? Do you know it's 2am"

Him- "Ok, so can I have a chocolate chip cookie"

Me- "Your kidding right?"

Him- "How about some chocolate milk?"

Me- "Now how on earth is chocolate milk going to stop you from being hungry?"

Him- "It's not mommy, but I'm not hungry I really just wanted some chocolate milk and I knew you would say no if I asked for it"

Me- "So you asked for those other things knowing I would say no but then thought I would just give in on the chocolate milk or what"

Him- "yeah mommy, ya know your really smart"

Kids.. can't live with them, can't kill em!

In all seriousness I am starting to think that my 4 year old is much smarter than he lets on. He is the king of manipulation when it comes to certain things. One day I will get around to posting about his other chocolate comment to which he informed me that if his belly didn't get chocolate it might die and without missing a beat raised his little eyebrow and said "do you want to risk it".