hi ho hi ho

School time!! The worm started K last Wed and so far isn't doing too bad. So the first day of school they had all the kindergartners in the same room together. They wanted to see how the kids interacted, who they were friends with, how hyper verses mellow they were, how they learned, ect. before deciding on which rooms to put them in. Well the worm made a friend. We will call him sworm. We call him sworm because his name is the worms name with a different letter in front of it.

Then all hell broke loose! They split up the worm and sworm (I'm guessing for name reasons) into different classrooms. This has gone over like a lead balloon! The worm doesn't care if he gets his work done and can play at the end of the day or not because "my best friend isn't here to play with" he doesn't care what happens in class because he is doing nothing but waiting until Recess and lunch when he can see sworm again. I talked to sworms mother today and she said sworm is doing the exact same thing. He also doesn't care if his work is done or not because free time at the end of the day to play with the other children doesn't include the worm. He does nothing but talk about recess and lunch time with the worm and could care less about making friends in his classroom. The worm has made a few friends, but there are only 4 boys in his classroom. Him, a little boy who has some speach issues and you can't understand, and 2 other boys who live next door to each other attended preschool together and are inseprable!

Other than the whole "they split them up" thing he is doing good, is learning to like his teacher slowly and coloring up a storm. I remember kindergarten when I went to school. I remember there was a lot of coloring, I just don't remember this much!

Now my complaint about his school. I have spent hour upon hour teaching the worm to properly form his letters, write them so you can read them, ect. His teacher goes and messes that up in 3 days worth of class time! 3 days and it's all gone! Apparently they want to kids to start curving their letters to prepare them for cursive writting. This would be fine except the n in his name somehow comes out looking like a w and I can't read half of what he writes anymore! Stupid people last I checked Kindergarten was for FUNDAMENTALS not fancy writting and "preparing for cursive" which btw how many of you actually use cursive writting in your day to day life? Not many people do!

Wow I'm shocked!!

I haven't been able to access my blog for awhile now. I have no idea what is going on, but blogger apparently doesn't like me that's what I figure. That's fine because with the way things have been going it would just be the worlds most depressing blog.

So, since I'm able to blog I'm sure your wondering what is new right? All depressing for the most part. Sorry.

-Might loose the house... yep foreclosure sucks! (No child support, no job= no paying the mortgage and the bank doesn't like that very much).

-The worm's daycare got a huge cut in funding and since he's going off to Kindergarten in the fall they have decided to just cut him from the program. O wait but I can pay full price if I want to keep him there instead of just having the co-pay and having him on ELI. Yeah at $210 a week! Poor people who can't afford their mortgage can't afford $210 per week!

-The dogs are feeling the stress and seriously acting out. Rocco the little $hit head pooped on the trampoline. Yep you read that correct. He drug a chair over to the side of the trampoline and climbed inside the netting and took a big ole poo right on it. He's only 20lbs!!! He drug a chair at least 20 ft across the yard! Spectacular right! It pretty much sums up my life right now. If it can go wrong it will.... including poo on the trampoline!

-Grandma died, I just realized I didn't blog that yet. So if you have lost count.. November my other grandpa died (unexpected), my 56 year old uncle (VERY unexpected, and my great grandfather (who was on his way out anyways) all passed within 36 hours of each other. Grandma died about 8 weeks ago (age 65) of an anyerism. She went to bed with a headache and was found un-responsive. The worm freaked me out bad though beacuse grandma was taken to the closest hospital. At the time we didn't know what was going on thought perhaps she had a seizure so we went to my mom's house. We were outside and the worm looked up and said "grandma is on that helicopter mommy" I said no honey grandma is at the hospital not in the helicopter they took her in an ambulance. He shurgged his shoulders and went on playing. 5 minutes later my mom calls and says "they life flighted grandma to x hospital across town I couldn't get my phone to turn on, we are almost there they left about 10 minutes ago. Ummm grandma WAS on that helicopter. Now how did he know that? Grandpa is helpless on his own so I've been super busy helping him around the house. Let me tell you that man is hopeless! He needs a full time live in nanny or something!

-The village idiot actually came last month to pick up the worm. Too bad he couldn't manage to keep his son for more than 24 hours. And he wonders why the worm doesn't want to go with him! He isn't ever around!

-The worm... O he's doing wonderful! He took grandma's death as well as to be expected, he's growing like a weed, he makes me laugh when I feel like crying, he keeps me busy and without him I would 100% be in a nut house right now after the year I've been having! Right when I think everything is on my shoulders, when I can't take anymore, when I'm about to start crying he will come up to me and say something silly. O how I love this boy! The new haircut! I was about to go nuts this day, was really stressed but really needed a laugh. Then he tell me out of no where "mommy I want a blue Mohawk..." he had an entire list of the reason why he should have one. Well a blue Mohawk my baby shall get!

Screen names

I was just talking to a friend of mine about screen names. It's weird how people end up with several different screen names depending on what site they are using. I know I use alot of different ones, but they are all variations of the same thing over and over again. Hers are off the wall weird! lol Perhaps I am just not creative enough?? My screen names typically involved the worm (lovinmyworm) or a variation of the nickname my friends dad calls me (bubbles) so I end up with 223bubbles (my bday and bubbles) or stphbubbles (part of my first name and bubbles). Her screen names though come from her favorite books, movies, random letters and numbers no one could possibly understand, ect. I was trying to figure out exactly how she came up with her 4598tsrt name because nothing about it made sense to me. Yeah she informed me she had a major mind blank and just typed in something random. Umm if you have a mind blank then how do you remember random numbers and letters like that? My brain is dumb and can't possibly do that!

Anyone else care to explain exactly how you got your screen names? We can talk about passwords next lol.

Seriously I do want to talk about passwords, why do some people choose to use something that everyone is going to know like the name of their dog, their kids, their address, or a stupid 1234 sort of thing? Can we not just think of something no one is going to guess? Something like seaturtleshateme? See no one would ever guess that! No instead they want to say "my account was hacked and I don't know why" when questioning them they tell you that their password is their husbands date of birth and if you knew this person for more than say 2 days you likely know that information. Even funnier is when her account was hacked the day after she posted it was her hubby's birthday. So in short please be smart people! This online thing isn't secret, it isn't private and everyone if they care to will know your buisness by the wonderful world of google!

Get a life people!

So I just read this news story on yahoo news. It's about 2 submarines that collided in the middle of the ocean. People are freaking out, checking the shore for evidence that nothing did leak out of the subs, blah blah blah. Seriously people this is such a freak thing it's ridiculous. A meteor is more likely to fall on your Buick while your already late for a doctors appointment than for this to happen again. Do they not realize how big the oceans are? That these things travel at different depths? Do they realize that the entire point of a submarine is to travel S-L-O-W-L-Y and quietly to not be detected! Next thing they will want every submarine to have a GPS locator on it so that other subs know where they are defeating the entire point of having them. I'm waiting for someone to find an injured duck and say that it was because these subs collided at the bottom of the ocean that this animal is injured.

Hearbroken by a single phone call

I just got a call from my former foster daughter. My heart hurts so unbelievably bad right now!

Background: She is 4 days younger than my bio son and if I could I would adopt her in a heartbeat. She was moved from my home with her sister because they must keep siblings together at all costs so they could keep their sibling bond. Nevermind that the older sister was hurting my sweet baby and that she was more bonded to me and my son than her sister and her sister is incapable of bonding with anyone. So she was moved, then they split up the siblings because her sister hurt her in a way that children's services couldn't deny the abuse. The my poor baby was moved with an aunt who lost custody of her and again she went to another foster home and moved again with her bio dad until bio dad's new wife decided she didn't like her and she entered back into foster care. So if your counting from my home she was moved 5 times from the time she left my home in 6 short months! My poor baby wants nothing more than to come back and home and I want nothing more than for this to happen also. I've had several placements and none of them have touched my heart like this one. It was like she was meant to be here. Well the state of Michigan won't cooperate and let her move back here with me. She was adopted last year by very loving people. People who were willing to give her up if it meant her coming back here with me because they too could see that is where she belonged. In the end I begged them to keep her because there was no way I could let my baby be moved to yet another family and I knew these people were good people and love her very much and that the stupid state wouldn't allow her to come back here where she belongs.

I just got a phone call from my sweet baby. It was such a simple sentence, but one that hit me in the stomach like a sucker punch. "Mommy when can I come back home?" What do I tell this child who is only 4 years old about the situation she is in. How do you tell her that her adoptive parents love her very much, that I love her also, but that the system designed to protect her won't allow her to come back home because I don't live in their state and aren't one of their foster homes. How to I explain to her the injustice she has suffered? If dfs had just allowed her to stay with me to begin with when her sister was just starting to hurt her that her skull wouldn't have been fractured, that I would have been able to fight her being moved to her aunts house, that I would have been able petition for adoption and she wouldn't have had to move 5 more times to finally be adopted by parents who while they are awesome and I couldn't ask for anything more just don't feel like her parents.

My heart hurts so bad, the tears are flowing and it literally feels like someone has kidnapped my child. Her adoptive parents know how she feels, they wish she was here but know it can't happen and listened to my pleads that they keep her and adopt. They adopted knowing that this child doesn't belong with them. They adopted knowing that I'm her mommy and that she is very bonded to me. They adopted after I pleaded with them to please keep her, love her, make sure she is safe, provide her medical care and understand that this system is broken. That conversation was so unbelieably hard for me, but I knew it was the best solution to the problem. I was so teriffied that if they didn't adopt she could hit yet another home, and perhaps I wouldn't have any contact with her after that. These people adopted a child who doesn't want to be with them because she knows where home is. Yes she calls them mommy and daddy, she thankfully doesn't have full blown RAD, but she does have some expected attachment issues. I have no idea how this family handles when she asks to call her mommy. I don't know how they handle when I see her and she stops calling her mom mommy and starts using her first name when I'm around. I don't know how they handle seeing the bond with me and yet still love her so much. I truly couldn't ask for better parents for her, they love her so fully and unconditionally, but I know it pains her mom to know that her child just doesn't really belong with her. Her mom has told me so many times how she belongs here with me, how she can see it and she feels like no matter what this will always be the case. I hurt for them, I hurt for my baby, and I hurt for all of the other kids in the system who have endured the same thing!

Thank you S for keeping my baby safe! Thank you for loving her so fully, thank you for giving her permenancy, thank you for allowing me to talk to her and see her, thank you for every hug you give her, thank you for every kiss on her forehead and for every "I love you", thank you for being my babies mommy. There are no words that can describe the gratitude I feel for you and your husband for taking my baby and loving her so fully. She will always be my baby, I will always be her mommy, but you are also her mommy. I hope one day she realizes how much she is loved, I hope one day she realizes how lucky she is to have you and your husband, how wonderful you are and what a great life she has because of you!

Stuffy drawers and closets

If your house is anything like mine and built more than say 15 or so years ago I'm sure you notice when you open some of your cabinets and drawers that they just don't smell fresh. They don't smell particularly bad per say, but there is a definite smell that hits you. Well the built in drawers in my closet are like this! I open them and I get a whiff of the previous owners, mothballs from about 40 years ago and no matter what I can't get rid of the smell. I tried scrubbing them, taking them outside to air out, the smell is stuck in the wood. I spent about a year trying to figure out what to do about it and now I have the answer!!!

Tea Bags! Yep you read that correctly. Apple Spice tea bags. Toss one or two of them in the closet or drawer of your choosing and every time you open it it will smell yummy. I have one hanging in every closet in my house, and in every drawer that I don't use often. Even when I take the tea bags out of the drawers and closets apparently the wood has soaked up that smell instead of what it smelled like before. YUM!

They also work great for a quick room freshener. You know those times when you want your house to smell yummy in a hurry. Candles are nice, but they take awhile to get the full smell in your home. Boil a tea bag in a pot on the stove and your entire house will smell good in less than 10 minutes! I LOVE it when my house smells good.

Finally

Been a long week around here.

I finally finished the last of my cleaning/organizing and feel so much better. Well that is until I walk back into my living room and notice that the worm has scattered his entire toy box all over the floor. So much for my house being totally clean, it was nice the entire 10 minutes that it lasted though. I figure if I just avoid that room I can live in denial for a bit longer. What are the chances that I can stay away from my living room for say 3 months?

The worm was sick, I mean super sick. He stopped talking and was only grunting and saying "ouch" and "go away" with the occasional "mommy help". Poor kid got a really bad stomach virus. He's better now, he's really hungry though from not eating for a few days, then going on the brat diet for 24 hours to give his belly a break that he scarfed down 3 waffles and 2 sandwiches already today.

Job hunt, why o why does it have to be this difficult? Seriously I'm skilled in healthcare, this isn't a field that goes south when the economy does the sick people are still going to be sick and yet no job in sight.

The dogs, O the lovely dogs! Gidget is driving me nuts!!!!! The chewing, the whining, Ahhhh puppies suck! She doesn't chew when I'm around, but the very second I leave the room she has found something to chew on. I tell her no, she cowars and walks away and then 10 seconds later I find the exact same item back in her mouth again. (and people wonder why I call her 10 second tom). She is so nervous all the time, I've never seen a dog that is this much of a chicken. She has some seperation anxiety and the very second I leave the house she whines. If someone drives down the road she again whines. I'm use to very dominant dogs, that is all I had growing up, Rocco is definatly a dominant dog, but this submissive, whining, nervous thing is totally new terittory for me!

That's about it for the updates. I'm going to appologize now for being boring and writting this post for you all to read even though I've just sucked up your time with nonsense.